The responsibility is within you
The pursuit of happiness and fulfilment is a goal that almost everyone can relate to and for many of us, we achieve this regularly, but many of us don’t. When things do go to plan, our default thought is typically self-congratulation. However, when things don’t go to plan, the easy option is to point the finger of blame or reason to something outside of ourselves; it’s not my fault, because he did that, or she did this or this happened or that happened. This lack of responsibility for ALL of our thoughts, feelings and actions is destructive. True fulfilment is accepting responsibility for the whole package of your thoughts, feelings and actions, not just choosing the good ones and ditching the bad ones! The reality is that your life is controlled by your decisions and not your conditions and that’s well worth remembering.
As Oscar Wilde once said, be yourself, because everybody else is taken, meaning that there is only one of you and therefore everything that you, do, say, think, feel, act on and believe is 100% down to you; which makes sense. In actual fact, if you really want to apportion any blame or reason, it is down to a thing called your Reticular Activating System, a bunch of very complex “stuff” in your brain that determines and filters your beliefs and how you see the world around you. This filter is developed through your whole experiences in life to this moment, so recognise that you can shape this from here on.
One of the major factors that affects us in life is influence, but ultimately how you react or respond to any influence is still your responsibility and your decisions are governed by your attitude and your attitude is really the only choice in life that you do have. You get to decide how you want to think and feel about something; good or bad, right or wrong.
This is where the careful consideration of who and what you allow into your life to influence you becomes important and possibly where coaching (business or life) can play a major influential role. Great coaching helps opens windows into yourself and provide mirrors to allow you to see what you don’t normally see, but actually may be right in front of you. It helps you see perspectives and gives you an awareness that you may be missing out on and guides you towards either an increase in personal performance or in many cases finding actionable answers and opportunities to overcome challenges.
No matter what, the answers always lie within and a coach can help you find them. There maybe times when you don’t want to see the answers and perhaps are struggling dealing with an uncomfortable truth. That’s fine; you can choose to deal with things when you want and on your terms, but always remember that ultimately it is down to you. A great start to any personal development journey is to just create greater awareness in the first instance, but hold off your judgement and opinions. Become more curious and less judgemental. Great coaching enables this and will help you find the path to taking personal responsibility
The spectrum of support spans from consultants and advisors at one end and therapists and counsellors at the other end with the difference being, one will talk/advise and tell you what to do and the other will listen, support and help you find the answers. Coaching is more at supporting end and the fulfilment and satisfaction you will achieve by understanding and taking responsibility for yourself is immense.
I work with a wide range of entrepreneurs at all stages of their journeys, all of whom are bettering themselves and pursuing dreams and goals. I help them choose the doors, but they walk through them. They decide, they choose, they take responsibility, they do the hard work, they ensure the pain, but they also get the glory.
At the end of the day, try being more aware, less judgemental and focus your energy on the things that serve you best. Be responsible, take ownership, help yourself and remember that life not supposed to be easy; whoever said it would be!